‘You have given Mrs R., her husband and her son a wonderful gift. I can hardly put it into words. Before Mrs R. had to say goodbye, she read the booklet together with her son, talked about it and they both found comfort in it.
Mr R. preferred to read it on his own. It also gives him a lot of strength. Every day he recalls some of the beautiful memories from it. As Mrs R. was a very close friend of mine for many years, I have now also been able to read it and am very touched. You have described the memories so fluently and vividly that I could see and hear Mrs R. right in front of me as I read.’
A friend
‘I am so glad that my mum was able to look back on her life with so much love in the end. It hasn’t always been easy for her, in many ways, but it comforts me to read all these loving thoughts. That she was able to focus on all the good things in the end and literally go in love. ‘
A daughter
‘It was very good for me to talk to you about all these things. I have been brooding so much over the last few nights and now I feel like I have become so much lighter. Now I’m holding this folder in my hands and a little bit of my whole life, somehow. Yes, I feel lighter.’
A father, he died the next day.
‘After my wife died, many friends gave me children’s books on how to talk to children about death. I found most of them rather bad, they were all so abstract. I’m glad that I’ve now been able to leave my son a few thoughts in my own words in this way. I hope it might help him in a few months‘ time when the big brooding starts.’
Another father, two and a half weeks before his death.
‘My wife and I have been arguing a lot over the last few weeks. She wanted to please me, but all I ever did was complain. I was just so unhappy with everything because I had become so dependent and couldn’t do anything on my own. It was a real blessing to have this conversation and remember how much I actually love her. And she loves me too. It’s become a real love letter, you could say. I never thought I’d be able to do that again.’
A husband terminally ill with cancer.
‘I hope that my wife, when I’m gone and when she reads this – that she remembers all the wonderful things we experienced together. All the travelling we did, that she won’t forget that and won’t just be sad.’
Another husband, terminally ill with cancer.
‘I’m so glad that I met you! I would never have thought that I could do something like this on the palliative care ward. I was so shy about going here at first. It was important to me that my grandchildren don’t forget where they come from. That they know what I experienced during the war and what my parents achieved during this time when we had nothing. But I also want them to know that it was good, despite everything. Thank you for asking so wisely.’
A grandmother, a few weeks before her death.
‘The two booklets are a huge gift and a great comfort for me and also for my husband. Having this conversation together was a way for both of us to actively say goodbye. You don’t necessarily do that otherwise, not so consciously. It all rushes past you and suddenly it hits you in the head, and then it’s perhaps already too late.’
A wife of a dying man, shortly before being transferred to a hospice.
‘Thank you very much for this work. It’s really great. I gave it to my husband for Christmas and he cried with emotion. The others in my family also said that it was very authentic and that someone must have listened very carefully!’
A young wife, terminally ill with cancer.
‘It really is a treasure, there’s no other way to put it. I think the children will be really happy about it. I’m sure they’ll think of even more stories when they read all this. That’s a lovely thought. I imagine them all sitting together, reading through it and talking about me. They always say that as long as they’re talking about you, you’re not really dead!’
A mother and grandmother, a few weeks before her death.
Mr G. gave me his wife’s „life treasure“ for her funeral eulogy (…) I am now preparing for it and can refer back to what you wrote. I have never encountered anything so beautiful and helpful during my career as a pastor.’
A pastor